Moving Sucks

A few weeks ago, I shared some pretty big news: I am moving to Nashville, Tennessee, to get my Master’s in Business Administration (MBA) at Vanderbilt.

After living in Kansas City for almost 5 years (for the second time), I am leaving. It feels just weird.

I’ve moved around a lot in my life, and I can honestly say the process of moving just sucks. Packing. Going through your stuff. Getting moving trucks. Saying goodbye. All of it is the worst.

Moving comes with a lot of complicated emotions. Excitement for what’s ahead, sadness for what’s being left behind, and a lot of numbness.

And there’s another layer that I’m feeling right now. I’m not just leaving Kansas City, the Roberts are leaving Kansas City. My parents are making a super tiny move over to South Africa to do church planting.

I won’t be coming back here to see my parents over Christmas break, no quick jump back to KC for a holiday weekend. I am moving away from “home,” and home is being redefined at the same time. I’m not sure where “home” is going to be.

When we decide to make a change, we make all the changes that could be made at once. Very classic Roberts.

I would say the carpet is being ripped out from under me, but in reality, I’m ripping the carpet from under myself. I am choosing to go back to school and to move to Nashville. And to be honest, making the choice for myself feels kinda nice.

This transition is mine. I am going out on my own to pursue what’s in my heart. It’s really exciting. And sad. And stressful. But I’m ready.

I’m also learning that the excitement of a new thing doesn’t make the “sad” of change go away. In the past, I’ve used the excitement to mask the sadness. Then, of course, that sadness sneaks up on me 4 years later and I end up weeping while watching the Harry Potter reunion (story for another time). I want to feel the emotions as they come up. And then do my paint-by-number to help me chill out.

I’m not entirely sure what the point of this article is, just me using my Substack as my public diary.

Transitions and moves tend to make me feel numb for a little while; I guess it’s a survival mechanism. But if Raye knows anything, “The cold never last darling, it just teaches the heart to burn.”

Photo by Tropic Alizé on Unsplash