These People Were My Heroes

I was born 2 weeks before IHOPKC went 24/7 in September 1999.

I remember talking to my mom when I was a kid, probably 5. I assumed that everyone had a 24/7 prayer room in their backyard. When I realized that wasn’t the case, I asked, “But what do people do all day?”. At that point, I had no grid for people with “normal jobs”. (Luckily that changed, and I now have a “normal job”).

So you could say I grew up at IHOP.

My parents were on the senior leadership team for about 15 years. Now they are members of the Advocate Group (AG) calling Mike Bickle and IHOPKC to be accountable for this s%#t show.

I grew up with other “IHOP” kids. We all went to school together. The prayer room together. Church together. Heck, most of us lived within a 5-minute drive from each other. At the time, it felt like a pretty good childhood. And I think it was.

I was surrounded by likeminded believers who wanted to love Jesus with all their hearts and it provoked me to do the same. At least, so I thought.

Most people scream “Don’t meet your heroes”. Well, I got to meet my heroes all the time.

I had a front-row seat to see some of the most godly people live out their devotion to Jesus in a 24/7 prayer room. I was continually provoked to love Jesus more by their actions, messages, songs, and little winks they would give me while I sat in the prayer room.

When I used to pray on the mic as a kid, I’d often get given a dollar. This didn’t create an unhealthy performance mindset in me, it helped encourage me to pray.

When I was little, probably 5 or 6 I got to go on a special date with one of my heroes, Misty Edwards. I have known her my entire life. She was my favorite worship leader. I got so excited every time I walked into the prayer room or church and she was leading worship.

She was faithful in the prayer room and had tremendous skill in worship leading. Every little girl loved her. My dad took me to the 8-10 pm set one night, a rarity since that was way past my bedtime. As the 8 pm set was wrapping up and the 10 pm set was starting, Misty walked onto the stage. I begged my dad to let us stay and hear Misty’s set. Considering 10 pm was already too late for a 7-year-old-ish kid, he took me home.

One time, Misty took me out on a special date to the mall. I don’t remember much, but she took me to the Disney store and bought me a princess umbrella. It was pretty special for me. I remember wanting to go to the Build-A-Bear store, but she said she couldn’t walk that far. She had recently had surgery to remove cancer from her leg that left her with a pretty severe limp.

When she was diagnosed with cancer I remember asking my dad if she was going to die. He reassured me she was going to be fine. But I remember the real feeling of concern I felt at one of my heroes being very sick.

I remember dancing in the kitchen with my sister to songs like “Baptize My Heart” and “People Get Ready”. Most kids danced around to Peppa Pig and Bluey. But not me, I liked Misty. And I wasn’t the only one. Everyone admired her. She was the example of giving your life to Jesus and being a Mary at his feet.

As I got older I grew in appreciation for her music. Her biblical depth was obvious to anyone paying attention. Her songs felt like they were reading my soul. I’ve probably listened to her song “Garden” ten thousand times. Not kidding. It became a comforting song to me (ironic considering the musical genre is pretty much Christian hard rock).

Misty and many of the leaders at IHOP were always nice to my siblings, me, and other leader’s kids.

Of course, that starts to shift when you get older and aren’t just a cute little kid anymore or able to offer them anything.

I don’t blame them.

Whenever I came back to IHOP during our trips from Brazil we all became increasingly less “cool”. Instead of getting chased down to be given a hug, I would maybe get a slight nod. Distance can make the heart grow fonder or slowly forget about you.

This came with some extreme outliers. There were a few very special people that were always over the moon to see us come “home”.

I’m glad for it. It helped prepare my heart for the extreme betrayal that was coming.

My heart grew somewhat distant from Misty and many people I used to look up to when I was a kid. When you’re a kid, you only know what you see and can perceive. When you grow up you learn about what happens in the back rooms. At least I did.

Turns out, you learn stuff when you’re a pastor’s kid (more on that another time).

Despite the growing distance in my heart, I still admired Misty and many others. Their reach for the Lord and their impact on the church and prayer movement was evident. I would always get annoyed when Jesus Culture or Bethel got credit for one of Misty’s songs (which happens a lot). I was quick to make sure everyone knew that Misty actually wrote that song.

When the Mike Bickle/IHOPKC scandal dropped into my parent’s lap last August, the distance in my heart towards Misty and many others grew even more. And the affection I felt for “Bickel Mike” in my heart died out real quick.

When Misty first posted her “I am not a victim” post in October 2023, I was extremely disappointed.

The woman I admired my entire life was defending a man who is so very clearly a sexual abuser, manipulator, and predator.

The girl who used to wink at me from the stage in the prayer room later lied and attacked the Advocate Group and by extension my parents. It hurt.

The gifted worship leader was using her tremendous voice and platform in an attempt to squash the rising tide of hurt, anger, and concern against Mike Bickle and IHOPKC.

I was angry. Angry that Misty and other IHOP leaders were handling the situation so poorly and not calling Mike out for his disgusting behavior.

After the anger passed I had a moment of clarity.

Misty moved to Kansas City when she was 19. She was quickly identified by Mike and shot into stardom. She was the poster child for “wholehearted devotion to Jesus”.

Mike took advantage of her pure intentions to love the Lord and serve in the prayer room. He groomed her to respond in a way that would protect himself and his reputation of being “the most godly man I’ve ever met”.

I am not going to speculate on whether Misty is a victim or not, time will most definitely tell.

Misty was my hero. I looked up to Mike and his teachings. I loved it when Stuart would preach.

I can name many others who were mentors to me as I grew up, teaching me to pray and prophesy. They were examples of godly people who seemingly loved Jesus with everything and embraced the teachings of the Bible.

I can also say that their response to this crisis is disgusting, to say the least, and very much not embracing the teaching of the Bible.

Who knew these people would turn out to be liars, abusers, and manipulators. I didn’t. I trusted them. I looked up to them. I grew up with their kids.

Misty and the IHOPKC leadership’s response was been disillusioning and disparaging. I assumed all those messages about standing up for truth in the face of evil would apply here, but I guess not. It’s fun to say those things, but not so fun when it costs you something.

I assumed these leaders in the body of Christ would take seriously the prayers they’ve always prayed on the mic about Loving Jesus at all costs. Or prayers for righteousness and justice to flow like a river. Or that the church in Kansas City would be pure.

Well, we all know what assuming does.

Through all my confusion, anger, and pain I still want justice. For everyone, not just the people here on the AG side of things. That includes all the leaders who have been groomed to defend Mike at all costs. They are responsible for their actions but are also victims themselves.

So, Misty, I’m sorry but you’re not my hero anymore. None of the current IHOPKC leaders are. Which is a bummer.

But I still love Jesus. I love Jesus not because of people like Mike Bickle and Misty Edwards, I love Jesus in spite of them. In spite of their unbalanced biblical teaching and horrendous actions that have hurt thousands.