I Used to Live In Paradise

I am writing this weekly Substack from one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been, Florianópolis, Brazil.

I lived here from 2013-2019 with my family. We left IHOP and came here as missionaries to plant a praying church. And plant a praying church we did. It was incredibly hard and stressful, but very rewarding. I wouldn’t trade my years in Brazil for anything. They made me who I am today and coincidentally got me out of IHOP.

My family and I took a weeklong vacation to Hawaii a few years back. We did an excursion to see sea turtles on a boat. On the ride back to the beach, I sat on the boat looking at the beautiful ocean, the velvety green mountains, and the white sand beach and thought to myself, “Why couldn’t God have sent us to a place like this?”

Then it hit me. He did. I lived in the “Hawaii of Brazil” for 6 years. There are 42 beaches on this island, velvety green mountains, beautiful water, and amazing food. At that moment in Hawaii, I realized what my biggest regret was from my days in Brazil.

I wish I had looked around more and taken advantage of the fact that I lived on an island in Brazil.

We were exhausted all the time, there was always something to deal with, another conference, another meeting, another crisis. We missed out as a family on a lot because we were so busy. I wished we had gone to the beach more.

As I sat on the beach during this visit, I closed my eyes and thanked God for the time that I got to spend here. The entirety of my teen years were spent in paradise, a paradise that I took for granted. I miss this paradise deeply when I’m deep in the Midwest winters.

I had a dream a while ago that I was sitting on a hillside looking at a beach below, surrounded by mountains. In the dream, I just looked at the view and cried. When I woke up, I realized that my soul misses beauty. I was made for it. I took for granted how much beauty moves me and how much it actually heals. The sound of the waves heals my tired soul. I’m not being dramatic here, it really does.

God’s creation, the mountains that He made with His own hands, and the ocean that He carved out, really do heal.

And God only knows how much I need that healing. My bones are tired, my soul is weary from the constant fight of the last year and a half. It’s fitting that this trip unwittingly fell right after the release of the report. I needed to smell the salt in the air.

I want to be more aware of the gifts that God puts in my life. I don’t want to take anything for granted the way I did with this amazing island.

This isn’t some profound new revelation. I am not the first one to realize that God’s own creation heals the broken human soul. But I am drinking it in, thanking God for the few days that I get to be here in the sun and sand.

I don’t have any deep amazing thoughts today, just my own ramblings as I sit by the water. I want to be more intentional in my life and be more grateful, as cliche as it sounds.

For the next few days, I’m just gonna chill in Brazil, breathing in the hot, summer air.

And wondering why on earth I live in Kansas City.

Photo by Thayran Melo on Unsplash