This week’s post is a little bit different. Instead of my typical reflections on life, I want to share some of the resources that have helped me most over the past several months and ask you to do a favor for me at the end.
I’ve done a lot of reading since all the mess that began in October with Mike Bickle and IHOPKC. For a while I didn’t want to read a single book about church abuse, I wanted to try and not think about it for a second.
I then moved through the stages of grief and was able to consume helpful content about what was going on around me.
So here is my list of resources I’ve come across that I’d like to share with you, in no particular order:
Something is Not Right by Wade Mullens
This book blew my mind. It felt like Wade Mullens was writing this book in real-time as the IHOPKC events unfolded. It was shocking how very “normal” (still horrible) all of the horrendous events at IHOP have been. They fit a very typical pattern.
If you have been involved with IHOP at any time or are watching the scandal unfold from a distance I really recommend this book. It helped me feel like I wasn’t crazy and get practical advice on how to deal with psycho-narcissistic pedos and spot them in the future.
How to Stop the Pain by James B. Richard
This book is about how to overcome a lot of the pain that we experience in our lives. Dr. Richard shares his years of personal experience and Biblical insights and gives practical advice about how to not let the pain and suffering of life derail us.
We all are in pain right now. Pain is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to control or rule us. This book helped me to overcome some of the barriers I had to my healing and walk in forgiveness.
Counting the Cost by Jill Duggar
Jill Duggar from 19 Kids and Counting shares her story of disentangling her childhood. The more I’ve looked into it the more I realized how similar the Bill Gothard / IBLP world is to IHOPKC, not so much in its expression but in its manipulative tendencies and biblical distortion.
Jill grew up in a very controlling, legalistic home where perfection and obedience were expected. Her story of slowly stepping out of that with her husband and even speaking out against it was inspiring.
Her story was helpful for me to understand that there is still good mixed in with the bad. Although she was raised in a controlling, sometimes abusive household, she still had fond memories of her parents and siblings, and that’s okay and right.
The documentary on Amazon Prime Shiny Happy People was also very enlightening.
Becoming Free Indeed by Jinger Duggar Vuolo
In this book, also written by one of the Duggar kids, Jinger shares her story of disentangling a lot of the legalism and broken theology that was pervasive in her childhood.
She pulls back the curtain into what it was like to live with her family and be a very involved member of Bill Gothard’s organization. She shares the broken theology that kept her and many others captive in fear.
I found it fascinating all the different and subtle ways that a spiritual leader can manipulate the gospel and scripture to serve their own purposes. Bill Gothard is a prime example.
Master Your Panic by Denise Beckfield
Although I haven’t read this book as recently, I cannot overlook it. This book was recommended to me by a counselor a few years ago and without it, I would probably not be functioning very well right now.
Master Your Panic is an extremely practical guide to help you understand and overcome panic and panic attacks. As someone who has had more than a few panic attacks in times past, I cannot recommend this enough.
Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
This C.S. Lewis classic was refreshing to read. It was a good reminder that evil is real. And it’s trying to undermine us at every turn and in very subtle ways. But it did not produce fear as it demonstrates God's power in a believer's life.
Not only is it an extremely well-written story (like everything C.S. writes), it also shows many of the pitfalls that we can find ourselves in that will affect how we view the world, interact with people, and ultimately see God.
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
I read this about a year before the scandal broke and I am really glad that I did. Scazzero removes the stigma associated with focusing on your mental and emotional health in the context of your spirituality.
He demonstrates the deep emotional health that Jesus, and others in the Bible, walked in. He gives very practical advice on how to confront some of the lies that we’ve believed that limit us from connecting with God and others.
His workbook pairs really well with the book.
Very Important Honorable Mention: Counseling
The stigma around counseling is slowly getting removed. It’s now very normal for someone to share about their experience with counseling, especially Gen Z and Millennials.
I cannot overstate how incredibly helpful Christian counselors can be. I have personally experienced real freedom and growth through counseling. It has been instrumental in gaining my voice, overcoming fear, and processing pain.
Memes
I heal through laughter. I love memes and funny videos. And cute dog videos. Comedy movies are my go-to right now.
This might not be helpful for you, but many (not all) of the IHOPKC-related memes have brought deep laughter and healing to my soul. One day I will do a ranking of my favorite memes related to IHOP for your viewing pleasure.
I have a favor to ask you
I have been writing this Substack for a few months now and I’ve really enjoyed it, and I hope you have too.
I am planning to continue writing for the foreseeable future. But I’d love to hear how it’s been for you, my dear reader.
I have created a brief survey (should take less than 5 minutes) to help me get to know you and for you to share with me what you enjoy reading.
Would you consider filling it out?
P.S. If you don’t already, I highly recommend the Substack app. It’s a superior reading experience for your inbox, and it has no ads.
The Amazon links are affiliate links.
Photo by Cherish Smith
Thank you for sharing these book recommendations. I love to read and a cousin recommended “Letters to the church” by Francais Chan. I find reading books help me tremendously to process my journey. I really appreciate your work!