I am currently writing this article on a train from London to Oxford. Traveling to new places heals my soul. Since living in Brazil I go stir crazy if I don’t leave the United States at least once a year.
Call me snobby if you want, I’ll be relaxing somewhere drinking tea and eating scones and not giving a rat’s behind.
I love meandering around cities, eating lots of food, and buying crap souvenirs for all the people who are stuck in the Midwest. It restores my soul.
In the last few weeks, the American Church has been hit with yet another massive scandal. Robert Morris, the pastor of the largest church in the United States, Gateway, has been accused of molesting a 12-year-old girl for 4 and a half years.
He resigned and the church issued a statement stating that the elders knew that Morris had a moral failure in his 20s, he would often reference it in his messages but did not know that the “young lady” was a minor.
There has been a public outcry, obviously. And Gateway has responded much faster and better than IHOP ever did. I’m curious to see how everything plays out in the next couple of weeks.
It is unnerving that this kind of news is becoming more and more common.
In the last few decades, the American church has been hit with the Bill Hiebel, Ravi Zacharias, and Carl Lentz scandals, among others. Those rocked the church. But they didn’t necessarily produce widespread change. At least not that I’ve seen.
But in the last 9 months, we’ve been hit with not one but two massive scandals. Mike Bickle starting in October and now Robert Morris in June. These guys have been Kingpins of the American church for decades. There have also been two massive scandals that have hit the Brazilian church in the last few weeks, which hits home for me as well.
This all leads me to think of two things:
God is finally answering our prayers. We’ve prayed for years for God to “purify His bride”, “Make His church clean”, and “Expose darkness”. But I’m gonna be honest, this is not what I thought it would look like. I didn’t expect the people leading the charge for purity were going to be the guilty ones.
Secondly, this makes me ask the question, “Does everyone suck?”
More people than I can count have surpassed my wildest expectations of stupidity and downright evilness. Where there is one evil man, you can bet there are a dozen others that help keep the evil man’s facade going.
I would never have assumed that if it weren’t for the Mike Bickle / IHOPKC scandal. But time has shown that there are others who knowingly or not have protected Mike and the organization at the expense of victims and truth.
It sickens me.
I’ve had bad days where I’ve wanted to turn my back on “normal churches”. So few men and women have stood up and done the right thing. It’s easy to say hard things when it costs you nothing, but so few have done it when it really matters.
All the people that my whole life stood on a stage saying that they would stand up for truth no matter the cost have done the opposite. They have let evil thrive, covered up the truth, lied, manipulated, and deceived. Disgusting.
I’ve turned to one of the Psalms that has anchored me in hard times before. David’s life was harder than mine and the psalms that he wrote have brought me closer to the Lord more times than I could ever count.
Psalm 116 is no exception.
Verses 10-11 stand out to me.
“I believed, there I spoke,
'I am greatly afflicted.’
I said in my haste,
'All men are liars.’”
I have felt this way so many times.
My life is hard. Everyone is the worst. Everyone is a liar.
That’s what I feel like now. I’ve asked myself, how many good pastors are left? Is there anyone who doesn’t have a secret double life? Is there anyone who doesn’t abuse in the darkness? Who isn’t waiting to prey on the weak and vulnerable?
The rest of the Psalm addresses some of these issues.
“The pains of death surrounded me,
and the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me;
I found trouble and sorrow.
Then I called upon the name of the LORD;
'Oh Lord, I implore You, deliver my soul!’…
The Lord preserves the simple;
I was brought low, and He saved me…
Return to your rest, O my soul,
for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
For you have delivered my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
And my feet from falling.
I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living”
I read this and one thing stands out to me. I am not alone.
When I call out to the Lord in my distress, confusion, anger, and resentment, He hears me and delivers my soul. I am a bit cynical right now, but I won’t always be.
Am I seeing evil around me right now? Yes. Can I still rest in the Lord? Yes. He keeps my feet from falling. He has me.
I love the phrase “You have delivered my soul from death and my eyes from tears.” This is not meant to communicate that you shouldn’t cry or process your emotions. It means that the Lord delivers me from despair. I look around and see pain, but I don’t need to despair or feel hopeless. The Lord will deliver me.
Another favorite phrase is “I will walk before the Lord in the landing of the living”.
Everything is gonna be great in eternity. There won’t be any pain or sorrow. But I don’t need to grit my teeth and white knuckle life until Eternity arrives. I can see the goodness of the Lord now. There are good things prepared for me in this age too. He is a good Father. That is why He is exposing all the darkness right now, He is a good Father.
There are good people. They are all around. Many of them I take for granted. I know thousands of pastors worldwide who are doing the simple gospel and don’t have half a dozen skeletons in their closets.
God is exposing the wolves to protect the sheep and let them flourish.
I’ve decided to give myself a minute. To stop focusing on all the jerks around me and all over the news. Psychos come and go, I want to see the good people around me. I need to not lose sight of the good that the Lord has prepared for me and already given me.
I’m spending a few weeks in Europe for crying out loud. I need to remember that God is good now. The exposure of darkness is good. Healing victims and brokenhearted people is good.
He is squeezing the massive wound in the Church so all the pus comes out. Once all the infection is gone, He will bind it up and it will heal.
We will heal. The Church will heal. He is a good shepherd. He is protecting the flock.
I guess I expected the cleansing of the church to feel like a relaxing fascial, not like cleaning out a gunshot wound with no antiseptic.
P.S. I am thinking about opening up a paid tier to my Substack that would include some exclusive written interviews.
If I were to offer that would you consider signing up for $5 a month?
I love your transparency. I love that your solace is to return to the Psalms, which is what King David did himself. A Psalm can start out with defeat, disillusionment, or discouragement, but it ends with a praise or a reconfirmation of the faithfulness of the Lord. Deuteronomy 32:4 is my "go to" verse. It says, He is the rock, His work is perfect for all His ways are justice... (Sometimes, I ask, "REALLY?")
I've had to stand on that one verse alone so many times when I see the insanity of leaders in the church and rampant run away sin. Yes, the Lord is cleaning house. We should all take notice and make sure we are clean before the Lord. I have wept many tears over the state of the church to the point of "quitting." Yet, I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day." 2 Timothy 1:12
You are a beautiful soul. The Lord be with you and bless you. The Lord bring complete healing and restoration to all parts of you that grieve...and know, there are others who grieve with you.
Yes, the cleansing of the church is not a relaxing facial. It more like ripping the band aid off and taking a clump a hair with it.