Waiting sucks. Waiting for food at a restaurant, waiting for my Amazon package to arrive, waiting for someone to text me back.
But you know what sucks waiting for the most? Justice.
This isn’t some cheesy quest for Batman-like justice.
I am talking about the real thing. God ordained justice. But here’s the thing with God-ordained justice, it usually isn’t instantaneous and it usually doesn’t happen exactly when I want it to.
I have to wait for it and ask for it. I know that ultimate justice will come one day, even if it’s only in eternity. But I also think that there is a measure of justice in this age, so I’m gonna ask for it.
I have been waiting for a year for justice on behalf of Jane Doe, Tammy, TH, and the entire IHOP community. And I can assure you that I am not the only one asking for it.
I am privy to some “insider” information about this whole debacle. And I have been on the edge of my seat waiting for justice and for righteousness to flow like a river.
I’ve had to also do a lot of self-examining. Do I want justice or do I want revenge and payback? What is my end goal? Do I want to see the people I think have wronged me and so many others suffer? Do I just want people to be strung out in front of the world for their crimes?
The answer at one point or another has probably been yes. Luckily, I am not the judge, jury, or executioner.
Alas, here I am, still waiting.
Waiting is a biblical theme, almost every prominent biblical figure had to wait, sometimes for a really long time. Moses had to wait 40 years, twice, David had to wait for what must have felt like forever to become king of Israel, even Jesus had to wait.
So why do we have to wait? Why does it seem like God is always delayed with the fulfillment of promises or the outpouring of justice? Sometimes promises don’t even come to pass in someone’s lifetime, like Abraham. That’s rough.
God seems to generally know what He’s doing so I ask the question (for the millionth time) why does He make us wait? What is produced in us during the inevitable time of waiting that is worth all the fuss?
In this instance, it’s justice for the Mike Bickle / IHOPKC scandal. But I’ve had to wait a lot in my short life. And as soon as one thing comes to pass there’s always something else to wait for.
I used to wish for a “magic” prayer that if I said something just right God would break in with what I was asking for. If I did something perfectly or somehow discerned what He wanted from me, He would finally answer my prayer.
Turns out God doesn’t work like that. He can’t be manipulated or coerced into doing what I want. And He doesn’t treat me like that either. He isn’t waiting on the edge of His seat waiting for Him to pray the right prayer in the right way. And if I don’t do it He signs and goes “Oh well! Hopefully, she magically reads my mind for what I want her to do next time!”
So what does He want? What does He want from me?
In my limited life experience, I think I’ve figured out the answer. He wants me.
He wants my heart, my mind, my soul, and my strength. He wants all of me. The good, the bad, the ugly. And He is willing to go to extreme lengths to get it, at least they feel extreme to me sometimes.
When He puts me in a tough spot of waiting I have to lean on Him. Those times of waiting, which honestly feel like they’re 70% of life, make me have to grow my roots down deep. I have to rely on His nature and His word. If He said He will do something, He will do it.
So what now? I’m still here waiting for justice and righteousness. I have to regularly remind myself that He is a God of justice. He weeps with those who weep and mourns with those who mourn.
That means He is with me now as I mourn all that has been lost. He is with Jane Doe, and Tammy, and TH, and all the other people who have been victimized by Mike and IHOP.
And thank God He is. I want justice, but what is even more important is that God is with me. He is with me now until the end of the age.
Waiting sucks. It really does. But I am not alone. I have a Friend who is waiting here with me.
I want the exposure of all darkness, I want the light to shine, I want justice and righteousness, I want the cloud of confusion and deception to lift. And I really do believe that all that is coming just around the corner.
For now, I wait. Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint
P.S. I am looking at starting an interview series on my Substack. Comment below who you like to see me interview.
You hit the nail on the head, Chloe. There are several scenarios that I am waiting for. My experience with IHOPKC is mainly from 9 months living in KC during times between Ukraine and China. We had 4 daughters go there through One Thing or FMA; 2 sons-in-law. My husband went through an internship. I cried all the time at FCF because I felt "left out." Nothing ever "happened" to me. I always felt empty. I could go on--the point is, the Lord was protecting me. And all my kids are following Jesus and out of there--though one was still going to FCF when all the scandal came out. She and her hubby were devastated. They are attending a house church now, full of former IHOPers to heal together. Anyway, I wanted to drop in and say hello and that I am "proud" of you (in motherly way) that you remain steadfast in the Lord. That just proves it is indeed not US , but HIM! He holds us! Blessings
Jeanne Jorash
Isaiah 40:27b “My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God. . . “ I have felt this way through out this debacle, though I have no direct experience with IHOPKC or any other Bickleism. My first encounter with the whole insane mess came when my little Nazarene Church in Montana called a pastor from Michigan who endorsed Robert Morris and Nate Johnston which I felt was out of harmony with Nazarene doctrine. I raised concerns back in February 2024, after listening to his YouTubes and friended his wife on Facebook where I read prayers she’d posted that rang alarm bells 🔔. Further listening yielded an admonition from him to be more like Lebanon House of Prayer and be more like the “early church.” When I asked what he meant by that he did not answer. In fact he pulled a Bickle-esque blame shift and finally replied (after I asked leadership for help getting a response) that he’d received both my (short) emails and “chose not to answer.” WOW! I am an old lady who has moved around the west a lot and served in a lot of different churches including the one Jack Deere pastored in Whitefish, Montana in the 1990s. I have been church musician for 53 years, but more and more of my friends have been dismissed as inconsequential. I guess gray hair is only a crowning glory to God, not pastors who seem only interested in their own vision—not people. I love your comments and your heart comes through. I am writing this because you asked about interviews. I am wondering if you’d like to interview me and others like me who feel that their little country churches are being infiltrated by the midwestern crazies of Bickle land? Chloe, I always think of you as Zoe, Spirit. I grieve along with you and your parents and everyone involved, which is really the entire Christian community. Paul Cain came to Whitefish too, and I would recommend you interview Stephen Deere (also on Substack) and his sister Alese. It appears that Cain was influenced by Wm. Branham so take a look at John Collin’s work on all of that—it will blow your mind. My interest is really in the systems—because as a survivor of abuse, I recognize the grooming and the hiding and the control to protect the church leaders at all costs against the people. Joyner recently made a fool of himself calling Chris Reeds victim “the girl” “the problem” and referred to what came out as “it” !!!! Chloe, she was/is a woman! A person!!! And don’t forget Reed was Bickle’s “bouncer” at the door when Chan and the other guy were turned away. This is such a rats nest I have told my husband that I watch and read what happens next like it’s “entertainment” because these MEN —these “prophets” don’t seem to know AT ALL That Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit!!
Keep writing. You and your sister and Blaise and his wife on Wake Up and Win are the generation of HOPE!!! Bless you and thank you for carrying the torch!